Glaze and Grit
Glaze and Grit
Karli Moch: Director of Business Development, BIO Girls (Episode 14)
Karli Moch is the Director of Business Development with Bio Girls, an impressive nonprofit organization spanning across the Midwest whose focus is building self-worth in girls. She is also the founder of Create Your Crew, a blog where Karli shares her personal experiences with motherhood, relationships, career, and health to provide an inclusive and welcoming space for others. Karli’s journey has taken her on several life altering and life-threatening circumstances, one being diagnosed with ulcerative colitis, an autoimmune disease that affects the lower digestive tract. We discuss the need for community, the strength of persevering in the worst of moments, the importance of mentors, and life pivots. Here is one honest conversation from one momma to another.
S2:E6 // January 12, 2021
“Make your voice heard, be authentic, be vulnerable, and be a shameless truth teller. You just might change someone’s life.” - Karli Moch
To connect with Karli:
Email: karli@biogirls.org
LinkedIn: Karli’s Profile
Website:
Facebook:
Instagram:
If you are willing to share your story and to open up and be vulnerable to the people around you, the abundance of good fortune and people and connection that can come to your life because of it is just incredible to experience personally, and to watch for others. So I always just love to try to encourage that into not downplay things that you have learned and that you could help others.
Speaker 2:Glaze glazing grit is a podcast where honest and real conversations are front and center. A conversation we're Fargo, Morehead, area, business owners, thought leaders, advocates, and visionaries share their lessons learned and provide a fresh perspective to better inform and support you in your journey. It's about sharing the real story to inspire lead and encourage. All right here in my backyard of Fargo, North Dakota, it all starts with a conversation and honest one. I'm Jessie, winter ravage, and this is glaze and grit.
Speaker 3:My next guest is Carly mock, the director of mission development with bio girls and impressive nonprofit organization spanning across the Midwest whose focus is building self-worth in girls. She's also the founder of creature crew, a blog where Carly shares her personal experiences with motherhood, relationships, career, and health to provide an inclusive and welcoming space for others. Carly's journey has taken her on several life altering and life-threatening circumstances. One being diagnosed with ulcerative colitis in auto immune disease that affects the lower digestive tract. We discussed the need for community. The strength of persevering in the worst of moments, the importance of mentors and life pivots here is one honest conversation from one mama to another here's Carly Mach. Hi, Carly, how are you?
Speaker 1:I'm doing good. It's been like one thing after another and in such a good way, had a lot of people in my corner, kind of connecting me with other people. So it's been good.
Speaker 3:It seems like you are such a connector. I just love it.
Speaker 1:Oh gosh. I honestly I'm like that when I'm meeting with people that are connecting me with others, I'm like, I think this is ultimately what I, I want to be that for somebody else down the road, like, that's my ultimate. I just, I think there's so much value in that and being able to help others with, Oh, I know somebody that will be able to help you. I just, I love that people are doing that for me and I would love to do that for others, but
Speaker 3:Yeah. And that's one of the things I want to touch on too, but since we're on the topic, I think that would be good. I want to get your thoughts currently on this, because I know we're both in our thirties, I'm 34, 33 34,
Speaker 1:Right. 33 33.
Speaker 3:And you know, coming back to Fargo, um, after being gone for, you know, nine, 10 years in my thirties, there's so much of a community with women here. And so many women are doing just incredible things. And I feel like in my twenties, I wouldn't have had the courage or the confidence to just get out and connect with people, you know, I want to do in my thirties. And I think it took me getting into my thirties to be like, Hey, we're all in the same boat. We're just trying to, you know, make it
Speaker 1:Exactly. Yeah. I agree with you. I completely agree with you. I, especially growing up here have always had friendships that have lasted throughout the years and luckily have those carried into adulthood. And so I've always kind of relied on them, but, and tell, I kind of started branching out on my own and we're all going through different seasons at different times. You know, you start to gravitate in different directions and, um, hate to say lose touch, but you do a little bit with some people. And until I started being more vulnerable and open and willing to share some of the hardships and struggles that we were going through is really when I started to cultivate new relationships with people who had similar goals and visions, or that maybe have gone through the same things as me and have really gained new connection and friendships with people. I never would have been able to meet. Had I not done that. I'm such a firm believer in, in telling your story because we all have one and it doesn't matter if it's drastic or is it something small, but if you're willing to share it and not only might help somebody else, but it might build you a new friendship and connection that you never would have had.
Speaker 3:I completely agree. And that's one of the things I admire about you so much is that you do step out and you make your voice heard and you're vulnerable and honest and yeah, you develop such richer relationships.
Speaker 1:Yeah. And honestly, the people that connect to your story are people. Sometimes you would have never guessed. And that's just the irony and everything is that every single person is going through something. And I cannot say it enough that when we're walking down the street, every single person has a story behind their eyes. Whether they're showing that smile or not, there is a song that always hits me and there was like a lyric in it that says I'm not special. I'm just like everybody else. And even though your story might be a little more difficult than somebody else's, they might've gone through, we're not special. Like every single person is more alike than we give ourselves credit for. If you just are willing to open up, for sure
Speaker 3:That segues a bit into create your crew, because I know a lot of what you're doing and you know, the premise behind glaze and grit and just community and belonging are tied. So do you want to touch on the premise behind creature crew?
Speaker 1:Sure. I honestly I have loved to write. Um, I was not always the best student because I was always doing this, which talking and not paying attention, but I always had a passion for English. I loved writing. I loved telling the story. When I got sick a few years back, I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis and it took myself and my family on a completely different path. Um, now when I look back, of course, I would never want to go through the things I went through at the time. However, I can not tell you how many things have come into my life because of it, including our most recent fun Simon. So there's so many things that would have never come into my life. Had I not gone through that and create your crew came about after I went through a long nine months of really hard time with my health and my family going through it, I came out of it, just kind of having that midlife crisis moment of what am I doing? And I am not leaving the footprint of what I thought I would. And kind of having that death knock on your door moment of what if I would have left here, what did I make an impact on the sides of the people in my home and in my family? And so I just started writing and wanting to have a place where I could be vulnerable and share things that I had gone through in the way that I came out of them to try to bring community and inspiration to others. And so just creating that place to be safe and vulnerable and to share within our struggles was kind of how that came about, which really just led me one after another to new connection and new people and ultimately leaving corporate America and following my passion after finding bile. Girls
Speaker 3:Love that. And I know I definitely want to touch on bio girls before we do. Can you share a little bit more about what happened three years ago?
Speaker 1:Yeah. And I always liked to tell this story just for awareness in general, because I mean, I had our first son Dawson in 2016. I have to think there for a second. And, um, it wasn't only maybe four or five months later. I started having blood in my stool. And for, like I said, I'm an open book, so I just go straight to it. But really I thought that was normal. I did not know that that just doesn't come with childbirth. I had no idea. Um, I just thought that was part of the post labor situation. And, uh, you know, a few months went by, went away. It came back until almost a year into my son's life. It came and it never left. Then I thought, okay, this is a problem. And I went to my doctor, she had recommended I get a scope. And from there I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis in October of 2018. And probably it was only 30 days from that where I was diagnosed with a moderate case and turn to a very severe case, um, and was hospitalized for about 30 days over Christmas and with a new baby. And it was a very difficult time for, and it's not just myself, my entire family was affected and we went through a lot of treatments that are supposed to help and are supposed to fix this issue. And it just wasn't working for me. So I ended up having a series of three surgeries and lived with a temporary stoma for about five months or so at the age of 30 and was like, w woke up from that surgery feeling a hundred times better than I went into it. However, had that moment of what is happening. You know, this is my reality. Uh, you know, I kind of woke up from that haze of just make me better too. Oh, wow. Like this is life changing for me right now and ended up reversing the stoma and happily having that third surgery and lucky to have it. So basically created a fake colon if you will, and have been living with that kind of for the last two years, but still have issues. And I remember very specifically and I tell this because I, it really set in for me. I was going through the motions of just make me feel better, get this pain gone, where it was probably a year afterwards, not even, um, we were with friends and somebody asked my husband, what were you thinking during all of this? I mean, he had my son, he was my rock. He never wavered, never showed to me that he was overly worried and he had replied to them. I thought she was going to die. And I, at that moment have that clarity of how much it affected him as well as myself and just was like, I need to use this moment of rebirth if you will. And redirection for something more than what I'm doing. And so that really laid out the next three years of bringing in our adopted son and changing career paths because of the volunteer work I was doing with them already and not ashamed to say it, but I did not volunteer outside of my home. I was in the sick of trying to get pregnant, then getting pregnant and having a kid and then health. And I was like, what am I doing for my community? And it wasn't a lot finding that outlet of mentoring young girls was life-changing for me.
Speaker 3:Wow. Thank you for sharing. Just can't even imagine it. And I was watching a segment, a new segment where you would go into the hospital and give back, you know, because that was so impactful for you. And I just remember seeing that older woman, you know, and how, how much you just touched her. And it was just like, Oh, just being able to do that is so precious.
Speaker 1:Yeah. That was probably the darkest moment of everything for me was Christmas day. I was, and I can't imagine it now, like, and I will do that same thing this year. I mean, it's only to one person who's in the, on Christmas, but it means so much to myself and my family, because I just imagine yourself on Christmas day and your family comes to visit, and then they're like, see you later. And you're sitting there in the hospital by yourself and your husband and your two year old son are going to church and going to be with family and open presents. And it was not a big celebration for them that you're in, if you could imagine. Um, but I remember breaking down and I hadn't really cried in the hospital, but I remember a nurse sitting on the bed with me and holding me, crying for probably a good half an hour. And she just let me do it. And I cannot appreciate the nurses as much as I like. It's just the amount of work that they do outside of their scope of work is just incredible.
Speaker 3:Wow. Thank you. Yeah. You know, you talked about your youngest son, Simon, and I was listening to one of your most recent podcast interviews on BFS or podcasts with Ashley Ray Klinger. And on the podcast, you were just about to become a parent to sign in your youngest little guy. And I mean, how emotional to be in that stage in your life, waiting for this little boy. And I mean, he is just the cutest little guy. Can you talk a little bit more about that, that time?
Speaker 1:Yes. And I am, I am biased I'm sure, but he is just the cutest and happiest little guy. I just can't tell you. Oh my gosh, definitely. I mean, after the surgeries, we already had fertility issues with our first son and then we went back to kind of just check everything out. Once I was feeling a little better and found out that the surgeries had blocked my fallopian tubes. So we were not, or we're not going to take those risks, both my health and for the baby to go the reproductive health route. So we decided it was on both of our hearts to go through the adoption process. We ended up creating a site on our own to try to connect with a birth mom through the network of our family and friends. And we were lucky enough to do that. And a friend of mine from high school, who I hadn't seen in years reached out to me and said, I have somebody that just messaged me and asked if I knew of any resources. Um, she was looking to adopt and she ended up connecting us and it was such a blessing to have that connection from somebody I hadn't talked to in years. And it's just incredible what, when you put something out in the universe and it comes in your direction and we met her probably in her third trimester, and so, uh, helped her through, you know, the end of pregnancy and things like that. And, um, originally she didn't want to be open and now has adjusted to, to switching that. And we talk every other week a little bit, just kind of check in here and there, but, um, have cultivated a good relationship with her where we can hopefully stay in touch and, and build on where he came from and his family and, and who he is. And that's really what our goal is for Simon's to just make sure that he has those opportunities to, um, dig in if and when he wants to. So it was a long and exhausting, stressful, and beautiful process. All at the same time,
Speaker 3:I have tears, just such a beautiful and precious gift. All right, Carly, let's transition and talk about bio girls and the impact that has made in your life and what you're doing with the program.
Speaker 1:Yeah. I started out somebody, um, had connected me to Missy Heilman, our executive director, and we met and talked for probably three hours, never met each other and just clicked. And she talked about the organization. I wanted to get involved almost immediately. And so I started out being a mentor at the site that she runs. If you don't know what bio girls is, it's an organization that helps improve the self-esteem of adolescent girls through empowerment of their self and service to others. So it's an amazing program that helps build their confidence and choose to be kind and inclusive of others. And it's a 12 week program where we get to do large group discussion, and then they get to break into these smaller groups with mentors like myself, and 600 volunteers that we have across the five States that we cover. And it's incredible to watch them grow and become vulnerable and make friendships in such a non competitive environment where they feel safe and vulnerable to connect with others. So, um, I guess I started yeah, as a mentor and then decided to bring it to my own church the following year. So co-directed a site with a now great friend of mine, Brittany default, and have never looked back, ended up leaving corporate America to come now work for this mission, which is still just like a pinch me moment for me, because I can't believe I do this for my job, if you will, it's hard to call it that. But, um, it's been incredible impact in my life.
Speaker 3:I need a second, Tim, Ising her and the CEO of Freon Carlson center. And he was talking about mentors and he mentioned just the importance of mentors in his life. And that hit me, you know, not just mentors as were young, younger girls, but mentors throughout our whole or whole life span to help us if we are unsure of aspects of our journey or if we are struggling or looking for a pivot, you know, to have those mentors come alongside us. And, you know, I wanted to talk to you about, you know, obviously the importance of mentorship and bio girls, but mentors in your own life.
Speaker 1:Yeah. It's so funny that you bring that up because we were just talking about that internally as an organization of, you know, this is more than just building their self-esteem. This is giving them the tools to have healthy relationships into adulthood. And to say, yes, I can go after that dream and not be afraid to fail. And we kind of look back in everywhere that we've gotten in our age and, and beyond there was that person in your life that gave you that yes, that gave you that encouragement, that made you feel like that's the route you should take and go after it. And that's the basis of what we're giving this next generation of young girls to be female leaders and dreamers for the next generations to come. And we were just talking about that and how that impacts greater into their adulthood. And somebody for me as growing up, her name is Nikki Peterson. Um, Nikki better her maiden name. And, you know, I was friends with her sister and kind of grew up watching them. And they're just a long line of athletic ability of crazy and just very kind sisters. And she was my coach. I didn't have that last name when you're growing up. And you're competing with to try to get a spot in something that you want to pursue. And she, I remember her just being like, you might not have the name, but you have the work ethic and you need to just work harder than anybody else. And she really gave me that encouragement to not worry about the politics and the who you're competing against and just compete against yourself and get better every single day. And I'll never forget that with her because she really taught me to work harder than everybody else get there earlier, leave there later and also be a cheerleader for the people around you don't feel like you're competing with them, compete with yourself. And so hearing that message at, you know, in a middle school age was pivotal for me, um, to not feel like I was competing with my own friends and which I can't even imagine what the girls are going through in this day and age, because it seems even harder to get over that obstacle. So she definitely is somebody that made that impact on me.
Speaker 3:All right. I love asking this question to every gas because it always surprises me. What is something you think everyone should do at least once in their life?
Speaker 1:Well, this is going to bring out the class X that I am, but I, I really think that everybody should have to think karaoke once in their life and whether you're a good singer or an awful singer is just, I think it's a Rite of passage. Um, an adrenaline rush for you, whether, you know, you're the worst singer in the world or the best. I just think it's a fun experience and gets you out of your comfort zone. I I'm through and through a karaoke lovers.
Speaker 3:That's so great. Curly who inspires you
Speaker 1:So many different phases of life that have brought inspiration? My parents to start with have always taught both my sister and I to work very hard, to make our own way. And that's what they did and taught that to us at a very young age and has really been, um, the basis of everything that I've accomplished throughout my years. They definitely have been an inspiration to me. And now I, this probably sounds cheesy, but my kid he's four years old, but he lives with such an old soul and makes you think of what life is really about. Again, just see it through a kid's eyes and to not take life. So seriously, he's just got such a kind heart already with his friends and the people that he's around. He just, he's very inspiring at such a young age. It's, it's weird to say, but he definitely does that. I love how you
Speaker 2:Phrased it in the different spots
Speaker 1:Of my life. Yeah.
Speaker 2:As we close, is there anything else you would like to add?
Speaker 1:Honestly, I just keep, always going back to just, if you are willing to share your story and to open up and be vulnerable to the people around you, the abundance of good fortune and people and connection that can come to your life because of it is just incredible to experience personally, and to watch for others. So I always just love to try to encourage that and to not downplay things that you have learned in that you could help others with. So definitely
Speaker 2:Don't downplay your abilities.
Speaker 1:Yep. I completely agree. Oh my God. That was so fun. Thank you so much for, yeah, seriously. And, and same thing. I wish I would have said this right at the time, but what you are doing and the messages that you're sharing, not only with our community, but with, with everybody is inspiring and should never be downplayed because I've learned so much about the people in my own backyard that I never would've known about or been inspired by. And there's so many people doing so many good things right here in our community. That just aren't shared enough.
Speaker 2:Thank you. Yeah. Well, thank you. I love it. Hey, thanks so much for listening in today. If you would like to learn more about Carly bio girls and create your crew, check out the show notes on glazing grid, podcast.com. Also, if you enjoyed this episode, please let us know by subscribing rating and sharing. Thank you so much for listening. I'm Jesse winter ravage, talk to you soon.