Glaze and Grit
Glaze and Grit
Alissa Leedahl: Labor & Delivery Nurse, Ministry Leader & Volunteer (Episode 11)
Alissa Leedahl is one of those women whose calming presence immediately puts you at ease. The kind of woman who walks into relationships with an intentionality to encourage and lift those up around her.
Alissa is a labor and delivery nurse at Sanford Health. She also serves as a ministry leader and volunteer with Northview Church, and is mom to three children under the age of five: Jay, Harper, and Jones.
In our conversation, Alissa shares the moment where she knew she had to make a pivotal change in her life, to the honest feelings we women may experience of trying to measure up to the high expectations we set on ourselves, to small and impactful ways we can be intentional with our relationships during this challenging season.
Alissa’s thoughtfulness, honesty, and wisdom will leave you inspired to take a breath, a pause, and see the beauty around you.
“My eyes were really opened to the importance of sharing your life with others, making others feel loved, and accepting people where they are at. At the end of your life, what really matters? ” — Alissa Leedahl
S2:E3 // November 24, 2020
You know, thinking about your life and thinking, how can I be more present in this season that I'm in? You know, maybe you aren't married and you want to be married or you're waiting to have children, or you're waiting for the time when you can buy that new house. Like, what is it that in this season that you can enjoy and really appreciate that you might not have in the next season. And so that's just advice that I've gotten from other people. And I've just tried to really take it back.
Jessi Woinarowicz:Glaze and Grit is a podcast where honest and real conversations are front and center. A conversation we're Fargo, Morehead, area, business owners, thought leaders, advocates, and visionaries share their lessons learned and provide a fresh perspective to better inform and support you in your journey. It's about sharing the real story to inspire lead and encourage. All right here in my backyard of Fargo, North Dakota, it all starts with a conversation, and honest one, I'm Jessi Woinarowicz, and this is Glaze and Grit. My next guest is one of those women whose calming presence immediately puts you at ease. The kind of woman who walks into relationships with an intentionality to encourage and let those up around her. She's a labor and delivery nurse at Sanford health. She also serves as a ministry leader and volunteer with Northview church and his mom to three children under the age of five, Jay Harper and Jones in our conversation, Alyssa shares the moment where she knew she had to make a pivotal change in her life. To the honest feelings we women may experience of trying to measure up to the high expectations. We set on ourselves to small and impactful ways. We can be intentional with our relationships during this challenging season. Her thoughtfulness honesty and wisdom will leave. You inspired to take a breath, a pause and see the beauty around you. Here's Alyssa Leedahl. Hi Alyssa. How are you?
Alissa Leedahl:I'm good. Yeah, we got all the kids in bed, so that's good. So they're all sleeping, which is, um, a huge feat sometimes. Yeah. How are you doing?
Jessi Woinarowicz:Good. Yeah, I'm doing good. Yeah, our boys, I think my oldest is sleeping. Uh, he, uh, we promised him a cookie after dinner and then he ended up getting a headache and we're like, we're not giving you any sugar versus like this huge thing.
Alissa Leedahl:Yes. I know. I understand. My kids don't react super well to sugar sometimes either.
Jessi Woinarowicz:So, well, thanks again for coming on. I really appreciate it.
Alissa Leedahl:Yes. Thank you so much for having me what an honor. Aw, thank you. Well, I thought we could just start at the beginning. You know, you grew up in Jamestown, North Dakota. Can you share a little bit more about your early years and what brought you to Fargo? So, yeah, I grew up in Jamestown, North Dakota. I was born and raised there and I had a great family, three younger brothers. And, uh, once I graduated high school from Jamestown, I went to NDSU for nursing. And, um, that's where I met my husband. We actually graduated the same year. We graduated, we got married and we moved to Rochester all within a month. It was really busy, but we moved to Rochester. I worked as a nurse at Mayo clinic and my husband did a two year pharmacy residency there. So he went to school to be a pharmacist. And then he did two extra years of training there at Mayo clinic. And so we really enjoyed living in Fargo. He grew up in Fargo and I loved going to NDSU. And so, uh, we were kind of on our own and um, in this new environment. And so it was really great for our marriage. And my husband was offered a job after his two years of training. Um, and so we could've stayed, but we just really missed the Fargo community. The people here and our families are both in this area. So for us really Fargo, I guess you could say was a dream because that's where we wanted to be. And so we moved back here and I started working as a nurse at Sanford and labor center. I worked full time there up until we had our first child Shay. And then I dropped down to a PRN status, which just means as needed. So, you know, up until now too, I work about one or two days a week and we have three kids. Jay, who is five Harper is three and Jones is one. We stay super busy. They definitely keep life exciting for us. Um, but we love it. We love, you know, the ages that they're at there. It's just always so fun and interesting to see how their little minds work and what they think about. And we really love the Fargo area and we love being here and we just have really enjoyed the community. That's here as well.
Jessi Woinarowicz:Wonderful. What made you decide on nursing?
Alissa Leedahl:I guess I wanted, I told my mom, I wanted to be a nurse around the age of five when I didn't quite understand what being an expense, but I actually really admired the nurse that would call it or names when we would go in for checkups at the doctor. And so she would, she would say her name and we'd come back and she'd do her vitals. And I just thought she was the best. Obviously I didn't know what that meant around the age of five, what being a nurse meant, but that's what I want it to be. And I kind of held onto that until my junior senior year of high school. And I kind of started looking at different careers and I just always kept coming back to nursing. I think that I felt becoming a nurse I could potentially help make even a small difference in someone else's life. And that was really important to me. That's kind of what led me to nursing and I've really enjoyed it. I loved being a labor and delivery nurse. It's one of the most amazing experiences to be a part of a mom's birth experience. It's just unreal. Like it's I really get to do this. And so even though I don't work full time, I just, I do. I love the days that I work too.
Jessi Woinarowicz:Ah, so beautiful being, having two littles and going through the birthing experience myself, I, I am. So for nurses, just like you, who, who do that because you were such an encouragement, thank you.
Alissa Leedahl:It's a huge honor to be a part of that experience for people.
Jessi Woinarowicz:Sure. So along with being a labor and delivery nurse at Sanford hospital, you're mom to three children, five and under your wife to a husband who works full time outside the home. And you're also involved in ministry, leading women's groups, volunteering and teaching classes for people who are new to your church, which is North future cheer. And what sparked your passion for ministry?
Alissa Leedahl:I became involved in ministry in college and it was really after a significant time for me, an area of my life that really made a huge impact on me was during my sophomore year of college. During that time, I really began to think that perfection in my life was a goal and it really became more like an obsessive mindset. And I really worried about what I was eating and how much I was exercising. And it really just took over all areas of my life. And I became, you know, anxious and depressed and I wasn't myself. And I started pushing other people out of my life. And around that time, granddad actually passed away my sophomore year of college. And it was significant for me because even though I still miss him, I felt like it really played a huge pirates and reminding me what was most important in life. And my granddad was an incredible man. He actually was a pastor in a small town in North Dakota. And it really didn't matter who you were or your background. He valued you and made you feel loved. He had several best friends, but one of his closest friends was a pastor who actually pastored a church of the different denomination, just down the road from him. And so, you know, differences in beliefs or opinions. Didn't keep him from becoming a friends and relationships with people. What was most important to him really next to his relationship with God. And I just had a great relationship with him and felt like, you know, I felt like I was the favorite grandchild out of 22 grandchildren come to find out all my cousins saw the same way. So he just had that way with people and they had to have this funeral in high school gymnasium because so many people wanted to attend. And it just showed the amount of people that were impacted by his life. For me, I was just, I was on this path to create a life that was really about me and what I wanted. I feel like that moment was really significant because it just opened my eyes to the needs of others and that I really needed to be living a life where I could really share my life with others and make others feel loved and accepted at that moment. I really decided that I wanted to place a high importance on relationships and make sure others felt valued and loved by me. And so I feel like God just really started working on my heart and I really began to become more outwardly focused. I just saw people around me who maybe needed to experience God's love. And, um, I was involved in a campus ministry group called Chi alpha, and I was a leader in that group and I just got to be a part of people's spiritual journeys. And my husband and I got as a group, I was mentoring girls and doing leader trainings and teachings. And we were just really busy with that. And it was at that time that I decided, you know, if I'm going to be doing this much ministry, that maybe I should have more training. And so that's when I decided that it might be a good idea to get my ministry credentials. So I actually took several classes and I did several exams. And then I went through this interview process to become a pastor. So since then I have just really enjoyed doing ministry, whatever that looks like. Uh, when we moved back to Fargo, I was again involved with, um, a campus ministry group. And then when we had our first child, I kind of stepped back from a lot of that. And I just became more involved in North future that we go to. And so I've led women's small groups and classes for new people at the church and just volunteered in different areas. And so I just feel that coming alongside someone on their spiritual journey is one of the greatest honors. I just see that as a huge honor to be able to do that.
Jessi Woinarowicz:Thank you. Thank you for sharing.
Alissa Leedahl:Yes.
Jessi Woinarowicz:You touched on a little bit. If you don't mind, when you were talking about like the perfection in your life became the goal. I think so many women experience that, but I know I experienced it too. Just holding onto something until it's so close to perfect and not wanting to put myself out there and be vulnerable. Can you share a little bit more about your experiences or your thoughts around just the women primarily women's struggle in this area?
Alissa Leedahl:Yeah. I think that it is a major, a major struggle for a lot of women and I feel that their expectations that we put on ourselves, but I feel that there's a lot of expectations that society puts on us too, to maybe look a certain way or be a certain type of mom. If we were to do all the things that we feel we should be doing, we would never sleep. Like if we, you know, if we did a perfect job at our nine to five job, and then we came home to our kids and cooked a meal that was just perfect. And then we seen the house in a perfect way. You know, there wouldn't be enough time in the day for that. And I just feel that a lot of women do, they put all these expectations on themselves. For me, it's still a struggle. I, I really have to look at my life and say for me, I think just having a clean house, sometimes I can get really obsessed about that and it can affect my mood depending on how clean my house is. And I just have to really be careful because, um, my relationships with my kids are really what's most important and I'm straining those relationships because there's a bunch of crumbs on the floor. And I just, I have to kind of just begin to put those things in perspective, sometimes a constant struggle for people. But I think looking at the whole picture and saying, what is most important here? And I think a perfectionistic mindset comes from good intentions of wanting to do an excellent job at what you're doing. And so it's just asking yourself, what do I want to put my time into to be excellent? And I think that's okay, but when does it become too fine? I think we know that. I think it's just good to keep that in check and that's something that I have to do as well.
Jessi Woinarowicz:I think that's great advice, especially we know when we're kind of at that limit and then putting yourself in.
Alissa Leedahl:Yeah, definitely something I have to think about often.
Jessi Woinarowicz:What has been most surprising to you thus far in your journey? Most surprising to me,
Alissa Leedahl:Honestly, just the journey through motherhood has been really surprising for me. You know, I've often thought like, why did no one warned me? Like what this is going to be like birthing a baby I've I'm part of that experience. So I can kind of understand that, but even the pain afterwards I've, I've watched moms go through all that. And until you experienced it yourself, you quickly realize like, wow, this is, you know, is a big deal and my body feels totally different. And just the demands on you as a woman, I mean the amount of sleep deprivation and just the extremely responsibility that you have to care for a little one. I don't know if anyone can really even explain that to someone until you actually go through it. And so I think that's, what's probably been most surprising to me thus far in my journey is just the journey through motherhood and what that looks like. Um, it's been a beautiful journey and I wouldn't trade it for anything, but I think it's definitely been more surprising to me than I expected.
Jessi Woinarowicz:What would you say to parents out there trying to juggle it all during this incredibly hectic and busy season that we're in of what is COVID-19?
Alissa Leedahl:I would honestly say, just try to remember what's most important. And I think it's, it's easy to get caught up in the news and the headlines. It's easy to go to your phone and try to see what's happening and what's, you know, what's the next thing that's going on. And I feel like it can just really induce a lot of fear and I think it really takes the attention off of our family and just being with them. And so I would say, just decide what you have to do. What is it that you have to juggle that's most important and then just leaving a lot of those emotions out of it, if you can, you know, focusing on what absolutely needs to be done. And I know there's a lot of families out there that have lots through a lot of difficult things during this time, and we've been really fortunate. And so I can't say that I totally understand everything that everyone is talking through, but I have experienced the fear and the unknown of it all. And I just think that being able to really focus on what's most important. And for me, my faith has been huge too. Just being able to look to God during the season of a lot of unknowns and a lot of anxiety, and just being able to give that over to him during this time. So I would just encourage families, you know, focus on what's important. And if you have any type of faith to maybe start exploring that more too, that's great. As a mom, I, you know, I mostly stay home with my kids. I work one or two days a week, so I'm with them a lot. And I just saw that some days would go by and I would just think, Oh my goodness, did I really actually spend quality time with my kids today? Like we were together, but you know, I have this list of to-do that I want to get done. And we have these routines you want to keep. And, you know, I have all these things that are on my list, but did I actually connect with my kids and like how embarrassing, you know, I stay home with them, but do I actually like spend quality time with them? And so I just, um, really had this desire to just really enjoy the season that I was in with them, because I think that sometimes we can just wish the season away and just want the next season to come. And I found myself doing that. You know, whether, Oh, when they're sleeping through the night, then things will be so much better. Or when we get through potty training, then we'll be able to do this. And every season there's just something new that you're just trying to get through Sunday. They're going to be in school day and I won't get to see them. And I won't get to know them as well. You know, I just started doing mommy, Jay and mommy Harper time. And Jones gets a lot of my attention the way it is. Cause he's the only one. But for right now we do mommy, Jay mommy's Harper time. And basically I do 10 minutes with each of them. We just set that time aside. And it's easy for me to do because I think I have 10 minutes. Like I have 10 minutes for each of them. That's not a big deal. And so we even just set the timer and we can do whatever they want to do for 10 minutes and we play. So I played dinosaurs with Jay. We, I played babies with Harper, you know, we do role play. And it's just so interesting because the 10 minutes usually becomes 20 minutes because I'm just, I'm having the best time. It's my favorite part of the day, because you get to get to know more about your kids, his personality, and how they interact and you get to build that foundation of just that relationship with them. I know there's a lot of moms that work full time. And so I think that it's even doable, you know, on the weekends or if it's something you want to do with your kids as well. And I think that they just feel so special and I've even noticed that they don't even act up as much sometimes because they've had that attention from me. And I feel like our data's solicitor there. So it's just a really simple thing. And maybe it's not for everyone in that exact way, but I just think, you know, thinking about your life and thinking, how can I be more present in this season that I'm in? You know, maybe you aren't married and you want to be married or you're waiting to have children, or you're waiting for the time when you can buy that new house. Like, what is it that in this season that you can enjoy and really appreciate that you might not have in the next season. And so that's just advice that I've gotten from other people and I've just tried to really take it to heart. I love that such practical, beautiful advice,
Jessi Woinarowicz:Alyssa, who inspires you?
Alissa Leedahl:I would have to say, you know, I have really great parents and I have a really awesome mother-in-law and I have great friends, but I would have to say the person who inspires me the most, but definitely have to be my husband. He's someone that I've admired since honestly, the day that I met him, obviously I married him for a reason, but, um, he just has this desire to be really excellent at everything he does, whether it's his job has worked, that he does, or even when he comes home to be a dad, he, after a long day of work, he'll come home and he'll get on the floor and he'll play with our kids. And I know he he's had a long day and he's tired, but he just makes time for them. And he makes time for me. He is a huge support to me and I just really admire him. He is a person who, you know, he has all these certifications and letters behind his name, but he's really one of the most humble people. I think he's a man of integrity and he just has this desire to be excellent. And so he just, he pushes me and he encourages me to really do my best
Jessi Woinarowicz:Something you think everyone should do at least once in their life.
Alissa Leedahl:Okay. So I think everyone should, at least once in their life, this is really practical, but I think everyone should just try tents, camping. I will say that I was very anti tent camping for, you know, basically my whole life, I guess. And since I've been married, my husband has tried to get me to go with him, but I just have not been really a fan. And, uh, when we had our first child, Jay, and he was too, my husband just said to me, well, I'm going camping and I'm taking Jay, well, whether you're coming or not at first, I just, I thought, okay. Yeah. I said to him, you can go no big deal. Like I'll just stay home. But then I started thinking more and I started thinking about all the memories that they would make together. And I knew Dave was going to love it. And I thought, I want to be there. Like I want to be there when they go camping and I want to take pictures. Um, so I ended up going along and I've gotten out for the past three years and it's just been a really great thing for a family. I really feel like we can really separate ourselves from everything that we have to do maybe around the house or things in town. And we can just enjoy each other and you know, it's just simple.
Jessi Woinarowicz:All right. Well let's end with a little lightning round of questions, if that's okay with you.
Alissa Leedahl:Yeah, that sounds great.
Jessi Woinarowicz:All right. Coffee or tea?
Alissa Leedahl:Coffee, definitely.
Jessi Woinarowicz:How do you start your day?
Alissa Leedahl:U h, I start my day typically I do the morning waking up. Right, right. Yeah, exactly. O h, thankfully our youngest is sleeping through the night, so most nights are pretty good, but yeah, h e's up at five 45, so I'm making a bottle. So sometimes that's the first thing, but otherwise I do like to start my day just with prayer and some devotional in the morning. So it might just be for five minutes. That, that is my favorite way. A nd how I typically like to start my day.
Jessi Woinarowicz:Road trip or plane ride,?
Alissa Leedahl:Plane ride.
Jessi Woinarowicz:What is your favorite dessert?
Alissa Leedahl:I would have to say, Oh, I just really love cake, like white cake with white frosting. Like the really sugary frosting, Definitely! Skiing or surfing. skiing. Cause I've only been, I've tried to surf once and it was awful.
Jessi Woinarowicz:What do you do to relax?
Alissa Leedahl:I feel like I don't get to relax a lot, but sometimes at the end of the day, I love to just crawl into bed and read a book even for 10 minutes. And that's super relaxing for me. Flats or heels. Used to be heels. Now it's definitely flats.
Jessi Woinarowicz:What impresses you?
Alissa Leedahl:I would have to say someone who is really real and is really vulnerable about their life. I think that really impresses me because that's really hard to do. And so even though it's even hard for me to do sometimes I think that's probably what impresses me most about someone.
Jessi Woinarowicz:Are you a morning or a night person?
Alissa Leedahl:Yeah, I definitely like the mornings. If I can get to bed on time that I love waking up early in the mornings, as long as I can get to bed.
Jessi Woinarowicz:And last one, climb a mountain or skydive.
Alissa Leedahl:Oh, probably climb a mountain. Skydiving sounds super nerve wracking.
Jessi Woinarowicz:All right. You're off the hot seat. You're done. Alyssa, thank you so much for being on the podcast. I appreciate you so much. And I just appreciate all that you do. Thank you.
Alissa Leedahl:Thank you so much for having me.
Jessi Woinarowicz:Hey, thanks so much for listening in today. If you would like to learn more about glazing and grit and the incredible community leaders highlighted on the show, check out glazing grid, podcast.com. Also, if you enjoyed this episode, please let us know by subscribing rating and sharing it truly does help amplify the guest journey. Thanks again for listening. I'm Jessi Woinarowicz. Talk to you soon.