Glaze and Grit
Glaze and Grit
Jessi Woinarowicz & Jenine Killian: Founders of Glaze and Grit (Episode 01)
Episode 1 kicks off with the who, the what, and the why from co-hosts Jenine Killian and Jessi Woinarowicz. We discuss why we decided to say yes to a podcast and moving forward with Glaze and Grit, a forum with a mission of sharing the real story behind people's success journey. We will share our journey - the highs along with the messiness, and a preview of what’s to come.
In this episode, we embrace the imperfections of starting something new and the learning opportunities to continually do better. We smile, laugh, and cry with the stories in our own journeys and look forward to sharing our community's experiences and the vulnerability and authenticity that makes us who we are. And finally, we are grateful for you for being part of this amazing adventure.
Thanks for coming alongside us in the journey of Glaze and Grit.
I think that's so interesting to name where you're talking about, like that backstory, that you don't see that. Yeah. And it's one thing to inspire someone else with your story. I also think something personally for the podcast and hopefully our guests is like sharing your story is kind of holding yourself accountable that you have a story and it's reminding you, your story is yours. I need to take a moment and remember, like, I have a pretty darn good story because it's me and I love everyone.
Speaker 2:Hi Jesse. This is Janine and this is glazing grit. We're on a journey to share the real story.
Speaker 1:Hey Jesse, how's it going? It is, it is going good. I'm out here in Idaho feeling like I'm in my roots, which is what, a better way to start out these sharing our journey. The fact that I'm in my hometown. So that's kind of fun for episode one. How are you? I'm doing good. The kids are sleeping. Cheers to that too. Cool. Well, you know, I think one of my favorite parts of glaze and grit, what we've done so far is really the initial moment that you sent me that text when we were in a meeting at work and you were like, Janine, we need to start a podcast. I think it'd be cool to share. Like, why did you send that text? You know, what was going through your mind? Do you mean? And I worked together and we started about two, three weeks apart, pretty close together, three weeks. I was so impressed with Jeanine right off the bat. This woman is amazing. And so I was listening to on that book club discussion that we had, I was listening to your voice. And I was like, she is so great. And for whatever reason, it popped in my head. Like we need to start a podcast. And I was so excited that I wanted to text you right. When we were having that discussion, like, no, I gotta wait. You were all on board. And so it was so fun to talk to you about that and figure out what we wanted this to be like. Yeah. And I think what's interesting is, you know, I say the same about you. I would like watch you at work. And I was like, so impressed. And I was like, Oh, she's she's early every day. She always has the most delicious looking coffee. She's in a great outfit. And she has kiddos dropped off already. It's like that story too, of we recognize these amazing qualities and other people that we see like day in, day out, we see who they show up to at the office. And we see this like put together person and we're like, Whoa, how does she do this? Like, I want to be that person. And what's great is we hadn't shared that with one another before didn't wanting to do this podcast. Yeah. We just sat in each other. I feel like, yes. And another thing too, that I loved is back and forth on days we would share texts, man, today. It's just like, am I ever doing enough? Like I always feel I can take that next step. And I, you know, never know. And that was something else that we connected on forming. Like when we were talking about what glaze and grit is going to be about, it's like, we need to share the real story. Like we go to work every day and our homes and everyone on the outside of us has this perception and we are amazing and we are awesome, but we do have those hard days and we have worked really hard to get to where we're at. And unfortunately we don't pull each other aside enough and talk about those stories or congratulate someone for making it through those moments that allows them to be that rock star mom or that rock star salesmen or whatever we're doing in life. Being able to showcase really the story of a person and not just a title. I think to me, was so important. You probably see me almost cry like 50 times. Cause we get like so excited about like success stories. But I think for so long, I never realized that there was a backstory to anyone's success. It just worked out for him. And that can be really hard on you internally when you're trying to compare yourself to everyone else. I think that's so interesting to name where you're talking about, like that backstory, that you don't see that, you know, juggling kiddos and dinners and work, you know, I come to work in the morning and I do my job and then, you know, I'm hustling kids and we just make it work. And that's why I'm so excited to, to, to hear about the backstories of people's stories. Yeah. And it's one thing to inspire someone else with your story. Like I've sat through countless speakers, podcasts of myself. Like I love listening to other people and hearing how they got to, but I also think something personally for the podcast and hopefully our guests is like sharing your story is kind of holding yourself accountable that you have a story and it's reminding you, your story is yours. I need to take a moment and remember, like I have a pretty darn good story because it's me and I love every bit of it. The good, the bad I get into just listening to you talk about this. And then I'm like, yes, that's exactly what we're trying to accomplish. Yeah. And I think just of all of the inspiring guest speakers that we've reached out to so far to bring on really, really special women and to hear their responses of just being so excited to want to support and be part of someone else's dream or passion that like immediate, just like, yeah, of course I, that's something that's really, really special too. I think everywhere. But our local area is super supportive. I think sharing those stories are even more important because that impact. So it was actually funny when we were writing the bios for the podcast, I looked at my boyfriend, Josh, and I was like, I don't really have any thing interesting about me. And he's like, well, you, you grew up in a bar. And so I would lead with that and I was like, okay, yeah, that's a little different than the typical growing up story. But my dad worked extremely hard to provide for my mom, myself and my five siblings. And we were lucky enough to have a stay-at-home mom, but we also had a family business. So from a very young age, I was an environment, a lot of support of family, but also of driving work ethic, expectations of being the best, doing the best. And my parents held us to a very high caliber as children. And so moving forward a little bit and the third grade things changed and my parents decided that we were going to move. So within 24 hours, my childhood home had sold and we were moving out into the middle of nowhere with no home. And our family business was a game bird farm. So while we were raising the birds on the farm, living in tents and building the barn, we were still going to school and trying to be normal. Kids have friends, but that made it really difficult. You know, it was very disruptive for not only me as a child, but everyone and moving forward. What I learned from that move of needing to be adaptable, knowing that with family, you can make it through anything. And lastly that your environment doesn't define where you're going. I could have accepted that. That was it. I was just going to exist now in this tiny town, but I had a calling within me that said I was meant for something bigger. And my parents always supported that because of that, I was always very hard on myself. I always wanted to be the best, best academically, athletically, just overall. And so when my sister Reese, my hero decided to graduate high school early, I knew that that was what I wanted to do as well. Pushed through school. Didn't have a lot of friends, but I had a goal. And so I graduated early and moved to Las Vegas where I got a scholarship to attend university of Nevada, Las Vegas, hospitality school, nothing changed. I hit the ground running. I was taking credit overload to graduate early. I was working full time because I really struggled with allowing my parents to help me. I wanted to pay for school myself. And I was also serving as the president of the hospitality hotel, lodging association. So I was very involved, but I was very hard on myself. Again, I always wanted to be doing bigger and better things. So I decided to take a step back and try to be a kid. And I told myself to start dating a little bit, have friends. And that's where my story kind of took its next segue. So, um, one evening I agreed to go on a date with a man. And on the way back from dinner, he asked if I wanted to see this gym that he was working on. And so he took me to this lot and it was not a gym. It was a very small storage locker. And um, you know, I really don't need to go into too much detail there, but that night something was it's taken from me that this strong driving adaptable young woman went from believing in herself that she could do anything to having just her entire self-worth and world ripped away from her. It wasn't the same after that night and become more hard, less trusting, very insecure and very sad. I went home that summer. I worked tonight. I still wanted my dream. And so I came back to Vegas and I told myself where I grew up. I was not going to allow this to define me. I wasn't going to allow my environment to control me. And I was going to keep pushing and I was going to reach my goals. I was doing pretty well until one night. I was walking out of work from the casino and this man from the date that night, who I hadn't seen him since then was in the parking lot. And my heart just stopped because all of the emotions, the self-loathing just absolute scaredness came back. And I just remember going home to my apartment that night and laying on the bathroom floor and just shaking and crying. And I honestly didn't want to live life anymore because it was really impactful to have to handle these emotions and this just this hatred for life. I did the thing that I never thought I would, I called my dad and I asked him to come get me. You know, honestly, I've never really shared why I left Vegas that I wasn't ready to share that story until now, which I've had a lot of self-growth. If anything I can say is you are so valuable and have so much worth and please don't ever let someone else take that from you. It's something that internally you have. And thankfully, I had the support of my family and friends to get through it, but I didn't allow that support for a long time. I try to take it on myself. I was still hurt. Um, again, I thought I had failed. I didn't want to come home because I knew everyone had looked at me like I'd gone and I didn't make it. And to someone who's very self critical. That was really hard to imagine people talking about me failing, but I got back enrolled in school and I found a passion thanks to an amazing professor, Dr. Northern tin for market research. He allowed me to be his intern. He believed in me and my life seemed to be on the upswing again. And so I finished school. I decided that I needed to pursue something that I was passionate about. So I got started in pageants. I one was Idaho falls and then I went on to compete in miss Idaho America. And I was really pushing towards that better life. I got my first job at a fuel company and they were absolutely amazing. They became some of my lifelong family, my friends and coworkers did. And then my life took a bit of a turn again. And my family relations started having a lot of difficulty in their relationships and coming up thinking my family was this perfect family, right? Everyone was so happy. Even at 23, it was so shocking for me to go through a lot of that emotionally. And at that point I felt like I was an Idaho for my family. And I didn't know what my family looked like any longer. It was a of trying to find myself again. And then, you know, my Knight in shining armor, I say somewhat jokingly, but truly my current boyfriend, Josh came back into my life and something that's really special about Josh is that any single human I've ever met, he has always believed in me and supported me and just thought of me as this person that I wanted to see myself as he sent me this job description. And I was still in that point in life. I was very hard on myself and I was like, there's no way I'm going to get this. But, um, spoiler alert, I ended up getting the job. And now I'm sitting here filming this episode and I'm in a time in life where I passionate about life. Again, I'm finding my story. I'm finding the beauty in it, both the good and the bad moments I found God, you know, in all of these things have helped me be a better sister, a better daughter, a better girlfriend, and to be able to come to accept a lot of the hard things in life and that let hatred go and allow self-love to take its place. If there's anything I want you to know from my story, two takeaways, one, it is so important to be driven and to have goals and, and to want to reach your potential. But let me tell you something, you already have done so much. Don't put your head down and just let life pass you by just to do those things. And secondly know how valuable you are, no matter what happens to you or what you go through, no one can take away your self worth. You know, it's something that you internally are able to define for yourself. So please remember, you're never alone. You are valuable. And there are so many people out there who see the greatness within you. I've had cheerleaders in my life, my family, my sister, Dr. Northington, my boyfriend, Josh. They have continued to cheer me on. I look at that now and I want to do that. The rest of my life are individuals that I come into contact with. I want to be someone's number one, cheerleader. Cause we need more cheerleaders in the world. We really do. We need those girls, commenting emojis and hearts and love. And we need standing up in the boardrooms and saying, you crushed that sales presentation we'd need more happy emails. We just need that. So Jenny, what are you most looking forward to after COVID? I think one of the things I'm most excited for as crazy it is, is to be back in an environment where I'm working around other human beings and getting to collaborate together. We still do that virtually. I've been impressed with the amount of creativity and resourcefulness, and I'm really looking forward to getting to see people. I, to I giving people high fives, sharing hugs, and I know it's still going to be awhile before we can do that freely, which is important that we keep that boundary. But yeah, I'm excited for hugs again. I hear you. Me too. I'm one of my favorite country songs lyrics are I believe people are good. There can be a lot of bad things happening in the world are things that are hard when you really focus on the people like the people are so darn good. And I'm so thankful in my story that I've finally been able to find that peace and that love for myself. For sure. I grew up in a small North Fargo home. I have three beautiful sisters, two older and one baby sister. So I'll always be your baby. I grew up with two parents, mom and a dad, just a very loving home. In the fifth grade, we moved out to a small town called kindred. You know, I was never that straight a, this amazing athlete, but I always tried really hard. And I feel like with my three sisters, I've always wanted to have my parents attention and affection. And I know you can relate to that having siblings. Yes. And so you're always wanting that attention and need. And I just tried really hard to have that. You know, you talk about defining moments and some defining moments that I will share is I was bullied really bad in seventh grade and CLI I mean, it was physical. It was all year. And I feel like that really shaped a lot of self-preservation or coping mechanisms, you know, maybe the need for connection. And I think I've overcome quite a bit of the inadequacies of that or feeling left out. It's interesting. Some of the hard experiences that you go through being bullied as a 12 year old was definitely something that stuck with me. And some of my other coping mechanisms come from is my dad struggled with alcoholism growing up in that environment of, you know, trying to always appease and make sure things are fine and where I get a lot of my not good enough feelings, even though, like I was telling you the feelings of feeling like I'm going to get fired from your job, you know, like that type of thing. It's because like, as a child growing up in that environment, nothing I ever did was good enough to make him stop drinking. And so you're always at this level of like, it's not good. My kiddos, it's an opportunity for me to stop that cycle and be like, you are good enough. That's my past. And that's not our future. When I was 17, my girlfriend enlisted in the air national guard. I thought that was neat. I wanted to do something similar. I decided like, okay, I'll do that too. So enlisted in the air national guard and was part of the one 19th wing and Fargo. And that was such a great experience for me. I went to basic training and old Navy flip flops and manicure nails. And I was that girl that was scrubbing the floor with a toothbrush for SAS enough to another team member. Or she thought I was sassing off. I still don't think I was, but of course you were. I was never stubborn. I graduated basic training and then came back and then eight years to just dive eight years in the military. And in that experience saying yes to new experiences just was so neat to me. You know, I was able to travel. I traveled to Germany and Japan and hang out in the little town in Alaska and so many neat experiences after high school, I, I went to North Dakota state university one week in a month, two weeks, a year service for the guard. I also worked full time as a housekeeper at the Ramada with my sister. And so did that. Um, my dad ended up passing away when I was 18. My dad, it was just such a kind and generous person. He was so funny, had the best sarcasm and wit he truly loved life. Of course you think about what could have been, and especially having two little boys and wanting him to be around, to see them grow up and to share those experiences with him. I can still feel his, his hand on my shoulder in the morning, giving me a gentle shoulder rub as he would come into the kitchen and, and grab his coffee. And, and I think about that every time I do that with my boys, but life is fragile and losing my dad makes me appreciate life. If I lived at home with my mom and my sister, while I was enrolled at SDSU, I add online courses. So I always felt like I was missing out on the friendships and the experiences of college by not being on campus. But I feel like being at home with my mom, you know, I'd, I'd get home from work and we would sit and we played gin for two hours, you know, and it was just such a, such a fun experience, especially after losing my dad for us to be able to bond and then be there with my younger sister too, was so precious to me, you know? And there was moments too, when I would go to my mom and be like, I don't know if I can do this. I don't know if I'll pass math and you know, she listened and she was such an encouragement to me. There's so many moments in our lives where we feel like maybe we just can't do something and having that rock or that person right next to us being like, yes, you can a couple of weeks after losing my dad, I actually met the love of my life. And my future husband, Matt actually grew up in this same small farming community that my dad was raised in. So Matt knew my cousins. He knew my grandma and grandpa. He knew my family and it was so special and sweet to meet him and know that about him and have that connection right off the bat. It was almost like my dad was saying, I can't be with you, but here is this wonderful man that I want you to meet. And 15 years later we are together and we have two beautiful boys and he is the love of my life. I became involved in women's studies. My sophomore year of college became this straight, a student and becoming involved in different nonprofits and meeting these amazing women in the community. And, you know, there's moments in your life where things just happen. If you take one step, you know, if you find something that you you enjoy or you think this is pretty neat and you just step into it, and that was for college, what ended up happening for me? I just started stepping into these volunteer opportunities, you know, a degree in psychology and something I really loved and was passionate about. And, and, you know, having these amazing mentors come alongside me, you know, Dr. Anne Burnett at MDSU and also Dr. Deb white at MSU, and these two women, you know, lifted me up. So graduated in ESU. I got a opportunity to go to United Arab Emirates. So I deployed to UAE for two months and so served there. And while I was in UAE, I got an opportunity to move to Bismarck, North Dakota, working for the North Dakota national guard, and did that for a few years, providing resource and referral services to service members, veterans, and their families, and also having the opportunity to lead the child and youth program for the North Dakota national guard. But my husband wanted to move out to bend. And so we moved out to bend Oregon, and we had been out there for the last eight years, just a memorable, fun time of being involved with community and meeting new people, saying yes to new experiences, you know, traveling to the coast, seeing Multnomah falls, learning how to ski. So just so many cool experiences by just saying yes. And after eight years and two little kiddos, we decided to move back, did the 1500 hundred mile U haul trip received a job offer with Stoneridge as the executive assistant to the CEO, it feels good to be back. You know, I look forward to when my family is not social distancing and I can give my mom and my sisters just a really good hug. We are so fortunate and thankful to be home and back in our community because Fargo is home. What are, what are some pieces of advice that you'd like to share that you've learned from your journey? What I've learned from my journey so far travel is something that's really important to me. Travel has opened up so many new experiences and relationships and connections. I would just say, if you have the opportunity to travel, to do it, I always would mention all someday, maybe I will. And I think now, especially in this landscape, someday is, should be a pretty close day. It may not be in the next week or two or even the next month, because we don't know how this looks, but someday should be a pretty close day. Another one I would say is to say yes to new experiences. I just find that to be so important, especially stepping out of our comfort zones, or it may be exposing fear. If I didn't say yes to some of my experiences, I wouldn't have skydived. You know, I wouldn't have[inaudible] those out of your story, you know, skydiving and climbing Pike's peak, you know, 14,000 feet up just having the guts of taking that step to say, yes, I will do this. Finally, what I would say is build your community, seek out those friends, seek out those family members. You know, maybe those family members do you haven't talked to in awhile, those cousins, those onset looks so forward to seeing you when you're a little kid and raising you and to really build your community. I love that last one. I love all of them, but build your community. I feel like I've done that recently and it makes a huge difference. It's like, sometimes you're all thinking the same thing, no one reaches out, but you're all going around in the same circle. And then as soon as someone takes the initiative, everyone else is like, we've all been wanting. This we've all wanted to connect. So thanks just for taking the initiative and sending me the ping during the meeting to start the podcast. Okay. So all of these new things you're doing, so what do you think this, what does, COVID taught you? What have you learned from these experiences? You know, if you reflect back, moving forward, what are some of those, those takeaways? You know, in this landscape, my family has been so resilient. My husband and I, we are such a rock together to be able to get through this and thankful for our health. That's not everyone's reality. And then I'm also thankful for my family. This environment has showed us the value of family and friendships and community is what I'm truly thankful for. It's truly special of where, you know, where we are today. Cause I think, you know, just listening to both, I think both of us have been at some pretty low, pretty low times where we really didn't know if there was a, today. We couldn't see into the future of knowing if we were ever going to maybe escape the feelings and maybe we'll never entirely, um, at least in my case, I'm sure not, but how much more I'm able to acknowledge or handle it in a more manageable or healthy way of some sort, even if it's an incrementally more healthy. I agree. And I feel like I would be a miss if I didn't mention my faith as well. In my story, you know, my faith in Jesus has been the guiding light, the rock of getting me to where I am through all these hardships or struggles and the amazing times the blessings, you know, it all points back to him. And so I feel like with my journey, he's part of it.
Speaker 2:Is it? Hi, thank you for listening to glaze and grit with Jesse and Janine. If you liked this episode, be sure to let us know and subscribe to glaze and grit, to find out more about glaze and grit and our journey of shattering success, perceptions through honest and real conversations. Be sure to check out glazing grit, podcast.com. Talk to you soon.[inaudible].